. . . people get divorced because of how their English muffins are buttered:
When Jim Caudill’s first wife sat him down and explained that she wanted a divorce, she had a long list of complaints: He didn’t help enough with the kids. He didn’t do his share of the housework. They were more devoted to work than to each other.
Then she brought up the English muffins. "She said, ‘You never butter them to the edges, you just pat it in the middle,’" says Mr. Caudill, a 59-year-old winery marketing representative in Santa Rosa, Calif.
Talk about the eternal solipsism of the female mind.
Unfortunately, the real problem with their marriage was that he was a giant Renfield with a soul-sucking wife:
Mr. Caudill says he understands now that his wife was not really upset about a muffin; she was frustrated at having to repeatedly tell him what her preferences were—on many things. "She was telling me I wasn’t hearing her," he says.