Sonic Charmer says that men don’t and shouldn’t want to be with women with high-powered careers:
This isn’t feminist, or enlightened of me, to put out there. But more importantly, I think it’s the truth: a woman’s high-status career is bringing nothing to the table that is of any use to a man. It’s not like he can think “well she’s making $X so I can slack off”. (Or, he can think that, but be beta.) So her career does not relieve him of any responsibilities. It doesn’t help him. All it does is take her attention and focus out of the home for extended periods of time. But his attention and focus has to be out of the home for extended periods of the time (because he’s a man – unless he wants to be thought of as not one).
In this way, a woman having a powered career is about as much use and appeal to a man as if she had a time-consuming hobby. For women, careers are options. For men, they are obligatory. If a woman with a JD or an M.D. had a family and decided to take time off for the career, absolutely no one would think twice about it. Good for her! But if a man were to do the equivalent – raised eyebrows. Oh, there might be a bunch of faux “I think that’s great!” comments from certain types, but they wouldn’t really mean it. Deep down.
I agree with what he says . . . but. My wife makes almost 33% more than I do and it definitely has some advantages (and disadvantages).
Advantages: The money is nice. Really nice. We don’t yet have kids, so a job that keeps my wife busy is nice. Also, did I mention that the money is nice? Lots of extra money and some additional time to myself everyday is worth a lot to me. I really can’t overstate this.
Disadvantages: You – as the man – need to be aware of the imbalance created by the situation and act accordingly. As kids come along, it’s going to be harder for your wife to work 60 hours a week.
I think the disadvantages are manageable if you know what you’re doing. We have organized our life such that we can live indefinitely on my salary alone. If my wife stops working, we’d have to make some adjustments to our living standards, but they’d be manageable. In other words, I would – like Sonic Charmer – recommend against relying heavily on your wife’s income. But, that doesn’t mean it’s a worthless consideration. Any beta-ization that occurs because you are the primary breadwinner is manageable with basic game. You let yourself turn into a beta, it’s not forced on you by economic circumstances.