What have stupid people done lately?

I can’t resist bringing up this topic again.

All the houses in my neighborhood are row houses. Virtually everyone has put up a privacy fence in their backyard (mostly this is because of stupid people, since tall fences keep out the sort of people prone to commit petty crimes, but I digress) and virtually all backyards end at an alley. This means that almost everyone in the neighborhood has a very tall gate in a very tall fence that opens onto an alley.

Someone, of presumably low IQ, has decided to take shits in the alley right outside of these gates so that if a person is not paying attention, they’ll step outside of their gate right into a steaming pile of human feces. The person taking the shits leaves toilet paper in a neat pile on top of the load.

There’s no chance that this person will be caught, though several blocks are considering buying their own cameras to record activity in the alley. Several other blocks already have purchased such cameras.

It’s come to this. It’s 2011 and we’re forced to buy video cameras to capture images of random people taking dumps outside our fences. Imagine having to tell Froude or Carlyle that, in the 21st Century, people in one of the wealthiest parts of one of the world’s wealthiest cities would wake up and have to clean human feces off of their back steps. Perhaps they wouldn’t be surprised . . .

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10 Responses to What have stupid people done lately?

  1. james wilson says:

    There is nothing random about it. It’s a message.

  2. dearieme says:

    Have y’all decided what you’re going to do with him when you catch him?

  3. “Imagine having to tell Froude or Carlyle that…”

    Well, here’s how a gentle-lady from Vienna described New Orleans in the 1850’s: “Along the footways there are certainly little canals or gutters of running water; but they are partly dried up, and partly, as is evident to more senses than one, used as sewers, so that in passing them I was continually obliged to hold my handkerchief to my face. The people of New Orleans are by no means exact as to where they throw filth, and just as often as not find the street most convenient.”

    Of course, at least the people of New Orlean’s had the excuse that they did not have a sewer system at the time, so there wasn’t actually a great alternative to dumping in the streets.

    • And of course New Orleans in the 1850s is in many ways a frontier city. Ie, it’s not exactly the friggin’ capital of the planet.

      I think it was Maistre who first suggested that it was God’s plan for liberals to suffer the consequences of liberalism. He sure wasn’t the last though.

  4. Lester Hunt says:

    “Have y’all decided what you’re going to do with him when you catch him?”

    This might make a good “Today’s Challenge” topic.

  5. Taggart says:

    Two things:

    1. I agree with James Wilson, it’s a message, leaving toilet paper shows pre-planning.

    2. It’s nothing new: http://frozentropics.blogspot.com/2009/12/caught-by-google-maps.html?m=1

  6. oppressed says:

    hey maaaaaam, to each his own maaaaan! it’s cuz you guyz oppressed him/her and so he/she has to shit in your hood. what about the um, um, uh…the starving africans maaaaaan!

  7. PRCalDude says:

    You don’t need an endless video stream – you just need something like a motion-activated game camera which should be cheaper. When the phantom sh1tter comes to sh1t, his motion activates the detector which then activates the camera.

    You’ll see other things in the alley besides him, but you’ll also see him.

    Armed with the right images, you can go to law enforcement. If they won’t act, you can buy a .177.

  8. […] – “What Have Stupid People Done Lately?“, “Weiner“, “A Free Press is Highly Overrated“, “Review of […]

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