Be more like Berlin

As you undoubtedly know, Matthew Yglesias is a leading economist. But you may not know that he’s also a leading city planner and housing policy expert.

One of his favorite cities to cite as an example of good housing policy is Berlin (see here, for example).

I’ve been waiting for him to admit that this was a joke or for someone else to say something, but it seems like everyone else is just going to let all these comments go. I guess I have no choice but to spell out precisely what it would mean for another city to emulate Berlin’s “housing policy.”

Here is a step by step list:

1) This is crucial step and the most difficult to execute. In this step, you must thoroughly destroy your city via massive aerial bombardment. This can’t be the old fashioned, military-targets-only sort of bombing. We’re talking about the sort of bombing that leaves no buildings of consequence in tact. People that come to the city 70 years later should occasionally have to evacuate high-traffic parts of the city due to bombs that they find in those areas that are still undiscovered and unexploded.

Obviously, this makes building a city with an ideal housing policy much easier, since you can start from scratch. On other hand, if properly executed, this step is much more expensive than having people pay a little bit more for housing.

2) Divide the city in two. This step is also difficult, because the dividing line has to be a serious one. We’re not talking about a “wrong side of the tracks” type of dividing line that can be found in many cities. Instead, this dividing line should be such that if you cross it, you get tortured and then shot. Or perhaps just tortured and then sent off to do hard labor.

3) In this step, you need to make one side of the city much richer than the other side.

4) Next, it’s time to cut off the rich side of the city from the rest of civilization by all routes other than a narrow corridor. If done properly, the rich side of the city should now be surrounded by a poor country.

5) In this step, you abruptly tear down the dividing line between the two sides of the city. When this happens, you should also reunite the poor country with a much richer country.

6) It’s crucial that this step be performed at the same time that step 5 is performed. In the poorer side of the city and in all the territory immediately surrounding the city, you should abruptly switch economic systems.

These last two steps in combination, will ensure that most of the population in the surrounding area leave for wealthier areas of the newly unified country.

7) Enjoy cheap rents due to the fact that you used to have a big and crowded city, but now you have a big city with no people.

Advertisements

14 Responses to Be more like Berlin

  1. Nyk says:

    Not to mention step 0: make sure the inhabitants are Germans.

    • Foseti says:

      That’s basically the implicit step 0 in all of Yglesias’s ideas.

      • Handle says:

        Yeah, otherwise you could do a “Detroit” scenario, which is also a formerly big, concentrated city that rapidly fell into ruins and is now emptied in its central urban core, and which also has remarkably cheap rents, much cheaper than it even had decades ago. You could even argue the “entirely surrounded by a different economic system” point.

        But because of Step-0, nobody says, “Be more like Detroit”.

  2. asdf says:

    Reminds me of the critique of Chinese supremacy hysteria.

    1) Fuck up your country in near anarchy and communism for 200 years.

    2) Grow quickly from a small base.

    3) Be called genuises.

  3. Matt says:

    I know you joke in the opener, but what exactly is Yglesias’ claim to fame?

    • Nick B Steves says:

      I think he’s ivy educated.

    • Foseti says:

      I have no idea. He’s basically my age, and he started getting paid for his opinion immediately after he graduated Harvard, I think.

      His opinions are exceptionally correct though.

      • Anonymous says:

        infuriating, really

      • Handle says:

        And he majored in philosophy of all things.

        Sometimes he has the audacity to create some “enemies” on his left.

        Though he does have to first, and then repeatedly emphasize, that, “the libertarian conception of freedom is nonsense” and recite the long list of adherence to the significance of the Liberal victories of the last century so show his allegiances.

        Still, even making a rational case against fellow leftists with their purely emotional “all labor regulation is purely good for the worker all the time” does seem notable.

        But probably not all that remarkable. The new, new left is all about pretending to use “Science” to “prove” their policy preferences are more than mere opinion, they are simple “correct”. There are huge advantages to that general strategy, but it means you have to occasionally suppress embarrassing reason-less advocacy on your own side, even if you share the same goals.

  4. ajabgreenberg@yahoo.com says:

    asdf and nyk kinda beat me to it, but there’s another step 0 or 0.5 or whatever … institute policies that have the effect of provoking other nations into bombing your city to smithereens. This is a necessary precursor to all the other steps. So, I guess if you want to create a new Berlin, then Baghdad might be the place to look these days, or maybe Syria soon. Or Afghanistan. Or maybe even Iran someday?

  5. He’s not just an leading economist, he’s Slate’s business and economics correspondent. That is, he’s an expert on business too. Get it right!

  6. […] – Selections from The Dark Enlightenment, Switzerland, Singapore, Sweden, Open Borders, Be More Like Berlin, Defining […]

  7. Zimriel says:

    Apparently he also likes the cocaine. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: